i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
