Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
