i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sorry about my life...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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