I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
