Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
