apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
