Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
vagina is talking i cant
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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