I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
