I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
