Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
