We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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