You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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