it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
