I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Randomize
