yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
They took my balls.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
