I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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