That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
