I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
