It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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