if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
