In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
