just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
