just come out here and I will go home with you...
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
