i think my tv is drunk
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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