he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
