I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
