Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Randomize
