She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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