well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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