Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
