Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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