I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
