I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
