And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
