Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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