I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
