Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
