your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
