When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
