You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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