i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
