Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
