You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
