I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
