I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
