he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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