I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Of course I have a pirate flag
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
