Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
