good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
