god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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