I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Randomize
