just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
