Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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